Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. NO PHYSICAL THINGS. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. So remember to try to be the best of you. I do not know the answer to that. You can't force yourself to love him. Keep reading for our tips and advice, and then give Pregnancy & Fatherhood Solutions a call today at (915) 249-1344 or visit us online to . All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. LoveDevani is an independent website. NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. The ex and i still argue sometimes but you have to learn when to shut up. I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. Having a baby with someone you don't love. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. 2) Are you prepared to forego this child and create a loving family with someone you truly love (which means you will wait for this new love to bear you a child).but be completely guilty all your life to abandon your first newborn just because you dont love your girlfriend. The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. What issues have you two had? You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. Time to grow up! I don't know if your feelings of disconnection will pass but I sure hope they do. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? Everything that we do, we have to bear all consequences. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. She has someone who depends solely on her. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. But men can still get baby fever. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. I just put myself on hold. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Only knowing that you don't feel good with your current situation won't make any change unless you do. It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. FTM. SCENARIO 2: STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. 2. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. as expected the women are been overly sentimental, ganging up on the guy insulting, and throwing reason out the window. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? 2Face. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. He's controlling. Welcome to the world little one! I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? He bought it and it is in his name. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. Don't marry someone you don't love. Most were married to . SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Cookie Notice He nearly killed you. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? I pretended to be. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. This relationship is bad for my wife and me. Is anyone in the same situation. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. The end result was the same my siblings and I had the worse upbringing. She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. Ease into the conversation. We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". He's not all bad. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . I know that my kids love us both. You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. Just not with her. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. How I wish she can understand and let me leave my life and be free. Good luck! I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. No love. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). It doesn't, does it? You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. Why is she with you? Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. She's told me I'll get to see the kid and stuff but she doesn't want me in her life anymore because I make her too unhappy. I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. Everyone is happier. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. I dont think Ill be at peace with her in marriage. Eventually though, it caught up to us. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? . The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. 4. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. Oh, I agree 100%. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. We've been together 9. More answers below Quora User Managing Partner (Solicitor) & Mechanical Engineer Author has 20.3K answers and 10.7M answer views 1 y Personally, I think you should only have sex with people you are in love with. To cut a long story short I'm in a very My Pregnant Girlfriend is Pushing Me Away. FATHER IS BLESSED WITH A CHILD BUT MISARABLE. YOU'LL BE STABLE. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. you have a baby with a girl you dont love,but you loved her apple enough to eat it without any protection?stupid talk,absolute rubbish. They hurt the most. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. May you both be happy and healthy. 'I regret having children' In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive tabooand reframing motherhood in the process By Anne Kingston At first. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. (1 to 2 kg . All rights reserved. Long story short. I'm supposed to get married in a month. IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. I love my daughter and i care about my wife but there is no love on my end. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Man and woman making love in bed. Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! No passion. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. and our In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. I want to be a father!!! the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). I need help moving on. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. Rightfully so! Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. Just here to say I constantly feel guilty for all of the crying I have done this pregnancy. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. I think it's so hard for me to love this baby because I don't love my partner. We found out. To think about the kids. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Good luck to you. With the lowest fertility rate in the . I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! Why not abortion?? You have a hard decision to make. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? Good luck to you. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. Be confident. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. CLICK HERE to subscribe to our daily up-to-date news!! AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? I too got burned with the kid trap. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. He just has a side I don't like. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. I was in love with someone else. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. Does it feels good to fake your feelings? hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. Be strong. Same boat. What was even worst she call me two days later to ask me if I could pick her up and I did. but honestly did society really win? By Simon Maybin. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. You're a mom now. We don't have to be together to love our children. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. It's not that they don't want to. To help you make the fewest blunders possible, let me give you a few tips: 1. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks. 9 min read. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. We are two total opposite people. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. View woman having a baby videos Browse 599,438 woman having a baby stock photos and images available, or search for woman in labor or woman giving birth to find more great stock photos and pictures. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? I was done. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. Ex My moving on process. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. Add to Collection. He was a rebound for me. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. Long story short my ex dumped me. It would feel odd. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. Next time, WATCH BEFORE YOU LEAP, U see how some guys end up sleeping with gurls dey do not love?? That's what we tackle in today's blog. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. To start? Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? Do not be with someone you don't want to be with. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not.